This may come off pretty narcissistic but recently I’ve been rediscovering who I am by trying new restaurants, exercising more, solo movie dates, reading, drawing, writing, everything! And I am falling deeper and deeper in love with the man I am and looking forward to discovering the man I’m destined to be. I don’t care for or need anyone else’s approval of myself… I know myself VERY well and what I gather is that I am the shit! I’m kind, I’m secure, I’m caring, I’m generous, I’m creative, I’m optimistic, I’m super honest, I’m super thoughtful, I’m #JamieHo. I realize that it may be difficult for men, especially of African American men, to accept and be comfortable with who they are but thank God I discovered myself at an early age. And I am loving every second of this journey of growth and loving every ounce of the man I’m becoming. It’s healthy to rediscover your manhood because if you don’t know or love yourself well enough, what makes you think someone else will? Be secure with who you are because, damn it, you’re fucking amazing! God bless you all! (I realized I used curse words and a religious farewell…awkward)
I don’t think many people understand my love for these two tales, Wizard of Oz and Alice in Wonderland, and I don’t suppose they ever will.
I watched “The Wizard of Oz” almost every year of my life since I was 3. I read the novel “Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass” by Lewis Carroll when I was 9 years old. I got the book from a school book fair. Like most 9 year olds, reading was not the most interesting thing to do. Something about this novel kept my interest. I suppose it was the vivid thoughts of the imagination expressed through words.
Imagination is such a beautiful gift that we have. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient of living; it’s a way of looking at life through the wrong end of the telescope. Which is what most of people do. They confuse fantasy with reality. It’s not healthy. You have to come back down to earth to appreciate your reality.
Dorothy and Alice both doze off into a beautiful fantasy world where they meet the most amazing people and see the most amazing things and think the most amazing thoughts and feel the most amazing emotions. They both stumble across good and evil, which is something everyone experience, they find their way with the help of beautiful strangers who then become friends, and then they wake up.
What I take away from these beautiful tales is that we all have a beautiful imagination or dream, and all of the people we love and care about are a part of it. You meet amazing people along the way; people who turn out to be everything you’ve ever wanted to be surrounded by, people who help you grow and find your way, people you may like or dislike. You then wake up to reality and learn to appreciate things for what they are and people for who they are. And strive to live the life you’ve always dreamed of. Not chasing the imagination or fantasy, because unfortunately those things aren’t real, but appreciating reality and making it as beautiful as your fantasy world.
Appreciate your reality and make it as beautiful as your fantasy.
In This Skin…
Beauty. What is it? What does it mean? And will it last forever?
It’s quite unfortunate that we live and sometimes love in a beauty obsessed world. The media portrays a certain image for society. An image that influence the way we should look, act, or even feel. These images will bring a lot of insecurities. The pressure to keep up with these images will tear you down. Insecurities will eat you alive. Constantly thinking about what others think about you will waste a lot of your time being happy. Live for yourself and those who you love and those who love you. Constantly chasing these images may lead you down a path you don’t want to be. It will make you live a life that is not the truth of who you are. Brainwashed with these images of what it means to be “perfect.”
Perfection. What is it?
Is anything ever really “perfect?” I mean, besides every Michael Jackson album, I don’t see much perfection in this world. That’s the beauty of imperfection. You pick apart all the flaws and see what’s left of something; it’s truly something beautiful. The fact is everyone has flaws. Our flaws are what makes us human and if we can accept them as a part of who we are, flaws wouldn’t have to be an issue. It is important to know your worth. If you don’t, no one else will. Your worth is vital to your soul. Don’t damage it, cherish it. Besides, there’s no way you can truly love someone/something else until you truly love yourself. It starts from within.
I never understood people who say “he’s not my type” or “you know my type” or “girl, he’s too short, tall, fat, skinny, dark, light, ugly, pretty for me.” It’s like they’re human shopping. Huh? How does one shop for a human or bargain for one? I like to think of myself as a free spirit. One day I’m attracted to men, the next day I’m attracted to women, the day after that I’m obsessed with pecs then I switch back to tig ol bitties. I settle for love, though. I don’t like to exclude love in any way, shape, or form. If my form of love comes as a 5’2” hispanic male with amazing hair, then that’s what I will go for. The moment you filter or exclude love is the moment you then stop yourself from being a possible candidate of true love. Don’t get me wrong, I understand humans are attracted to what they are attracted to but let’s not let those fantasies interfere with something REAL and GENUINE! Keep your mind open to new things and keep your heart open to some good, good lovin’; it’s out there somewhere.
Be BOLD and confident in the skin you’re in.
After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul and you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning and company doesn’t always mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts and presents aren’t promises and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much so you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure you really are strong you really do have worth and you learn and you learn with every goodbye, you learn…